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Byrd 01
I mean, Byrd is my last name, so that’s what people call me. I don’t look like a bird (chirp, chirp), but I may keep my hair fluffed high in the front, so, Byrd is just fine. But a little birdie recently gave me some interesting information that I thought I could use to get me accepted by the Damp Alley crew or Red Shirts for short. Also, don’t tell my uncle that I referred to him as a little birdie.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Byrd, I believe you when you say you’re wearing red undies, so you don’t need to prove that to me to speak your peace.”
Well, I peeked Nate anyways because I happen to be quite capable of wearing a CK thong, so.
“Nate, I know that I’m not quite your favorite type of person, but I have valuable information from a solid source that you need to hear. So, if you would rather that I speak with one of your lieutenants, then sobeit.”
“See, now you’ve tied my hands, Byrd. I mean, Brian just wants to hate fuck you silly for a week and Paul wants to fag shame himself with your mouth for a couple of times, so?”
Huh, you would think that was something that I would know about, right?
“Fine, Nate, my little birdie has informed me that the City of Middleton is going to tear up and repave the Pothole Alley, so the Blue Shirts crew will be out of a home for a couple of weeks and I think it would be big of you to offer them half of your ever Damp Alley to hang out at while their spot is being rebuilt. Also, why didn’t you mention anything about what Kurt wants to do to me then, hmm?”
“Because Kurt, well, none of that is any of my business.”
“He calls me on Thursday’s, Nate.”
“Which is none of my business, Byrd, so moving on, wait, nobody calls anyone any more, so??? Wait, I take that back, Byrd.”
“Well, I respect you, Nate, so I wouldn’t tell you how Kurt…”
“La, la, la, the alley, Byrd, the alley!”
“Fine, Nate, all I’m saying is that you could either relish in the glory that your rival crew is homeless Escort for a couple of weeks or you could be the bigger man and share, so? Also, why haven’t you texted Kurt yet to let him know that I’m here then, hmm Nate?”
LOL, anything to get rid of me, right? Or anything to keep me around for just a little longer maybe.
“Nate, I got your text, oh, hey babe, I mean, Byrd, ahh, what’s happening here then?”
“Kurt, I just came to the Damp Alley to let your leader, Nate, know that your crew has a chance to be the better crew because of some repaving project soon and then he asked me to peek my undies for him, so?”
“I asked no such thing!”
“And then he kept staring at my little bulge and I think he wanted me to rub myself so my bulge would be more pronounced and I fell for that, Kurt, I fell for it!”
“Again, I asked or said no such thing!”
“But I didn’t fall for his trick when he tried to get me to confess that I always hug you so tight that it’s basically sex and that you kiss me back, so.”
“OMFG, there were no tricks, no questions and no comments from my side!”
“But I may have let it slip, Kurt, how I “accidently” demonstrated my French kissing skills on your fat dick, so.”
“OMFG, stop, I can’t la, la, la know about this stuff! I have a Damp Alley crew to lead.”
“But I didn’t tell Nate how I moaned in pleasure from your taste, Kurt. I mean, that’s just too personal, right?”
Huh, so my Damp Alley crew guy Kurt can faint then?
“He didn’t fuck me, Nate.”
“Shut it, shut it, shut it, Byrd! Fine, I’ll speak with Barry then, but only if you shut it pronto!”
“Cool. And I already have it set up where Nina will be the truce talks moderator, so?”
“Wait, what, Nina?”
Hah! Guys and their dream girls, right? Not that I had a plan or anything with Nina as the moderator.
“Well, you’ve done it now, Byrd. You have me looking like Zorro’s wife on the night they we’re hosting a Swinger’s party, so?”
“I Escort Bayan mean, you change back into your shirt and jeans then, Nina, so?”
“Oh, hell no! I mean, look how this low ass cut shirt highlights my peaches! Oh, and I like the high collar too, but look at my silhouette!”
[Sways back and forth in front of the mirror]
“Wait a minute, Byrd! Am I representing some super villain bitch or something?”
“I mean, you change back into your shirt and jeans then, Nina, so?”
“Oh, hell no! I mean, let the gawking, I mean, the rival crew truce talks begin then!”
Hah! Dream girls in a bad ass super villain outfit, right? Oh, hell yeah!
“Um, so my Mrs. Zorro outfit doesn’t do anything for you then, Byrd?”
“Nina, I’m like steel right now!”
“Oh, I mean, okay, we should go then.”
Which you think would have made for an uncomfortable ride to the always and ever damp alley, right? LOL, nope, my SUV had a passenger visor vanity mirror, so the short drive was all about Nina’s peaches. Which are ripe as hell, I might add. Which I didn’t have to add once we made our way in between the Damp Alley crew and the Pothole Alley crew, so.
“Byrd, I’m not complaining, but what are you doing?”
“Tucking your shirt in, Kurt. This is a big crew truce deal and you should look presentable, so?”
[Tuck, slide, tuck, stroke, tuck, tuck, ooh, tuck, shift, shift, move, handle, tuck, stroke, shift, tuck]
“Well, I’m about to truce myself right here then, Byrd.”
“Which is why I waited for Nina to start going all “blah, blah, blah” as the mediator, Kurt.”
[Untuck, unzip, ooh, stroke, fap, lip smack, lip smack, gulp, engulf, engulf, engulf, engulf, engulf]
“Blah, blah, blah, blah and that’s why the Damp Alley is big enough for both crews for a couple weeks and I already bought boots that can handle the ever damp alley pavement, so?”
“Ahh, I second the cleavage, I mean, the motion, so.”
“Nina was Bayan Escort saying stuff?”
“Say, isn’t the Peach Festival next weekend then?”
[Damn, Byrd got game then, engulf, engulf, engulf, ooh, ooh, gag, gag, gag, gag, gag, oh]
“Byrd, Byrd, Byrd, aha, aha, aha!”
“I vote that Nina keeps that little switch whip too!”
[Switch, swash, swish]
“Oh, oh, Byrd, oh, Byrd, Byrd, oh.”
[Slurp, gag, engulf, side to side, engulf, front to back, slurp, gag, gag, gag, engulf, ooh]
“I vote that all female crew members carry a little switch whip!”
[Switch, switch, switch, swash, swash, swash, swish, swish, swish]
[Ooh, ooh boy, oh, gulp, gulp, squeeze eyes, gulp, gulp, gulp, tighten eyes, swallow, ooh boy]
“Ahh, oh, you swallowed, Byrd?”
“(Gulp) I just wanted to be a good Damp Alley Boyfriend for you, Kurt.”
[Drizzle lick, drizzle lick, drizzle lap, drizzle lap]
“You know, before you bang Lindsey later tonight, so???”
“Oh, ooh, um, well…”
“It’s fine, Kurt.
[Tuck, tuck, shift, sort out, slide, tuck, tuck, ooh, slip, slip, slide, tuck]
“Go cast your vote, Kurt.”
“Ahem!”
“Oh, oh, Lindsay, um, ooh, ah, my shirt was a mess and Byrd, tee, he, helped me out! I mean, image is everything when casting a crew vote, right babe, tee, he?”
[Switch, swash, swish]
“Ouch. I’m going, I’m going.”
[Trotting and tucking]
“[Mwah] funny boy bitch.”
“Lindsey, you gave me the permission!”
[Switch, swash, swish]
“Ouch.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t think you would be that good, funny boy [mwah].”
Well, Lindsey and I have known each for a while and if Kurt couldn’t me accepted into the Damp Alley crew, I mean, I just wanted a backup plan, so.
“Blah, blah, blah, motion presented, so “yay” or “nay” people? Oh, hold up, finally, our newest crew member creeps out of the shadows! Byrd, cast your vote!”
“Nina, did you rub olive oil on your chest for the sheen?”
“Vote, Byrd!”
“This was all my idea!”
[Switch, swash, swish]
“Ouch, for, for, I vote for!”
I mean, if “for” was the right answer since I had been busy tucking in Kurt’s shirt and all, right?
End Byrd 01
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