Illicit Affair – Part 19
Damir’s experiment with depth of anal penetration
We woke up together on Wednesday morning. After a gentle kiss, we prepared breakfast, ate, and left the atelier. We met Sekou on the stairs, who was smiling widely.
– Hello, lovers. Where are you going?
– To the tube and to work.
– Karolina informed me that you will come to Saturday’s meeting.
– True.
– Maybe you should deliver a lecture on how to satisfy a woman instead.
– You don’t believe in your own cause?
– I do, but it’s always the same people saying the same things. Not just those in power, but also the silent majority, nobody listens to us. I don’t believe we can save the world, but I could at least save my private life. Maybe I should also find myself a nice girl and make love every day, like you two.
– Yes, days of crisis happen to all of us. Do you often hear that you should return to where you came from?
– Oh, yes. All the time. I’m so sick of it.
– And where is that?
– Senegal. It’s in West Africa.
– I know. I’m from Bosna.
– I was born in Iran but came here twenty years ago.
– Sekou, I still believe that good ideas win people over, just slowly day by day. Of course, you should also find a girl. Maybe you’ll meet your soulmate exactly at the protests. If you have any questions about sex that you can’t ask your parents, contact me. Take care and see you on Saturday.
– Bye, Sekou.
– Have a nice day.
Karolina came to my office again.
– Can we go to the cafeteria together?
– Okay. I could use a break. I’m typing materials for one of my classes, I’m already feeling sore around my neck and shoulders.
– Great. Thanks.
– Is something wrong with Saturday?
– No, no. I just feel good every time we meet. Sorry Zahra is not here. You two are my best friends. But how about Adam, Agniezka, and the rest of the crew?
– Our friendship is rather superficial. Apart from the fact that we are all Polish, we don’t have much in common.
– Funny, Karolina, but you are the second young person I met today who has a sort of personal crisis. Political activism sometimes gives one a feeling he or she is banging at a wall of concrete. I know it can be frustrating when you have no one to talk to properly. I had such a phase during the last two years before I met Zahra. Even talking to members of the Bosnian diaspora left some void no one was able to fill.
– Precisely that. I knew you would understand. You are the wisest person I know.
– And you are the best male ego booster I know.
We arrived at the cafeteria. I ordered two cappuccinos and resumed the conversation.
– What do you think about Sekou?
– What about him?
– You two meet a lot, he is also an immigrant, he is also a pro-peace activist, and he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Have you ever looked at him, as a girl looking romance looks a boy?
– You are joking?
– No. Why?
– Precisely what you said before; Sekou is a boy, not a man. I cannot ever see myself in a relationship with him. Ibrahim is more mature and more reliable, but I simply don’t feel anything for him, except camaraderie.
– Which is more than zero.
– It’s also less than perfect. You came from East Europe, like me. We both understand many things about each other. Have you been to Poland?
– Krakow, Warsaw and Gdansk.
– You see. Sekou and Ibrahim come from a completely different part of the world. They know West Africa and England. They are of course anti-colonialists on a level we cannot comprehend, but they don’t know anything about the problems of Eastern Europe or even the EU. We just don’t connect on a personal level, like you and me. Maybe it’s just that I want to be submissive, that I look for a dominant man. Around our office, I’m the one with most of the ideas, almost as giving orders. I would love to become your secretary. Perhaps our organization, pacifist at its core, needs a stronger alpha male presence.
– I never thought of myself as an alpha male.
– Zahra’s moaning says you are wrong. You are a natural leader and teacher, so it seems to me.
– I cannot but admit I’m flattered by what you say. Okay, I get it. I will come on Saturday at eleven o’clock and exercise my strong male presence.
– Did you ever consider a polyamory?
– As a theoretical possibility?
– Would you vote for it to become legal in the UK?
– Yes.
– Did you ever experience such a feeling? Before when you were married?
– Not really. My relationship with my wife slipped from love into friendship long before I met Zahra. Escort I still have “like” feelings about her, but this is way short of love. My only threesome happened because of curiosity, not because of polyamory. Do I think I might have such feelings in the future? Perhaps.
– Involving me?….. I’m joking.
– You are not joking and this creates a sort of a problem. I like you enough to want to see you happy. You are not happy because you don’t love your Krakow boyfriend anymore. You like me more than a friend, but I would never sleep with you behind the Zahra’s back. Your problem is that you don’t have the same feelings for Zahra. I think that you would not be happy with you, Zahra and me in a threesome. Is this a correct summary of your feelings?
– I kind of like Zahra very much. I can understand why the two of you fall in love.
– Maybe on the next protest march, you will meet a strong alpha male trade union leader and I will be happy for you.
– Every time you open your mouth, you just make me feel more certain that you are one in a thousand.
– Karolina, I have to go now. I’m already a little late with my materials.
– Can I still come sometimes and talk to you?
– We can go together for a coffee every day if you want.
– Really?
– Yes. Feelings are like a tide. When they come, they are unstoppable. Nothing I say will make you transfer your feelings about me toward Ibrahim, Jacek, or Sekou.
– True.
– I will pay and then we go back to work. Okay?
– Okay, Damir.
In the rest of the working day, I almost managed to finish the materials I was preparing. At three o’clock I left the college to meet Zahra for lunch.
– Hello, my lovely Persian delight.
– You sound happy. Something special happened?
– Meetings with Sekou and Karolina made me realize even more how lucky I am to have you.
– Did you meet Karolina at college?
– Yes, I had a coffee with her. She has the same problems as Sekou. Their activism is filling one type of void, only to open another big void in their personal lives. I tried to suggest that she should look at Sekou as a man, not as an errand boy for their NGO. She didn’t agree. The same is true for Jacek, Adam, and the other Polish boys. She is looking for an alpha male, so she has a crush on me. I hope she will meet some big and muscular union leader from Manchester and forget about us.
– I kind of like her. She is a very positive and unselfish person. Because of Brexit, her long-term perspective in England is impossible. What should she do after her graduation? Go to Africa with Sekou or Ibrahim? Go back to the Polish boyfriend she no longer loves? Hope for a love affair between us and her? Marry an Englishman and apply for citizenship? I don’t envy her at all. No wonder she wants to be near a mature person like you.
– The shitty thing is that no amount of maturity can solve her existential problems.
– Let’s go to eat and swim. We can solve the world later in the evening.
We stepped in and ordered two big bowls of Pho. After lunch, I got an SMS message from Jill.
– Something happened?
– Unexpected senior staff meeting at the travel agency. She won’t be able to come today.
– So what will we do?
– Swim, what else? Swimming according to plan number 14. It will be fun to be alone again. I can catch you in my embrace after every length of backstroke.
At the practice Zahra performed a new dolphin kick drill with elegance we man cannot achieve. Undulations of her body were perfect. I was afraid that this skill would be difficult to learn and to some extent frustrating. I couldn’t be more wrong.
We returned to the Atelier at eight o’clock.
– What shall we do today?
– A day without lovemaking is lost. You always say this.
– I’m still emotionally exhausted from yesterday. I plan an experiment for tomorrow, about the depth of penetration. You surely remember what I was talking about.
– I’m sure you will be able to go all the way in. If you can go past the first defense, what is there to stop you from slowly sliding all the way in?
– It sounds logical, but I would still like to explore it in a controlled manner. The paradox is however that a controlled experiment might take all the arousal away if we are not careful. If you will no longer be aroused, and type of penetration surely must be painful.
– Don’t worry, there are so many other things you can do for me. You always say that we are in no hurry.
– True.
I stepped closer, hugged her, and kissed her. She returned the kiss.
– Let’s dance tonight.
– To what music?
– Find something on the Internet. Escort Bayan Search for ballroom dancing music.
I took my laptop out of the bag and put it on the desk. I entered the search term and got plenty of hits. I decided on the first which sounded promising and downloaded an mp3 file. The duration was about one hour. I let it play and we danced for 15 minutes before taking a break.
– Let’s go brush our teeth. Then we will be ready for anything.
– Okay. After you young lady.
We returned to the room where music was still playing. I extended my arm in invitation, which she couldn’t refuse. We danced for 15 minutes more, after which she told me to prepare the mattress. After this was done, Zahra started undressing, but instead of putting on pajamas, she went to the drawer with lingerie and put on the white set. When she came back to me, she asked “Eat me with my panties on”.
I had no reason to deny such a request. Zahra lay down on the mattress and spread her legs. I touched her panties with my finger. They were already a little damp. I grabbed her crotch with my whole palm and stroked it gently. I lay down next to her. She turned her head to me so I could kiss her. I returned my palm to her panties and started massaging her in circular motions.
– Is that okay?
– Very good.
– You look gorgeous in this chemise.
– I’m glad you like me.
– I love the feel of this fabric under my palm.
– Kiss me down there.
I shifted my position and knelt between her legs. When I pressed my mouth on her panties, she cupped her boobs and purred like a little kitten.
– Find my little button.
– Hmm.
– A little more to the right. A little higher. Yes, yes, right here. Now suck it.
I started to suck her clit gently but still passionate. I traced the outline of her pussy lips with my index finger through the satin fabric of her wet panties. Then I pressed my finger into her opening as if I wanted to push the panties inside her.
– Finger my ass….. yes, yes, just like that.
In fact, I merely pressed my wet finger against her rosebud, in order not to cause any pain. It was sufficient. She started moaning and lifted her legs high in the air, holding her knees with her hands. I continued to suck her through the fabric and teased her all around her asshole. Her moaning became louder and louder, so I knew she didn’t need anything more creative to reach the peak. Even before her scream, I knew that she started to come because of her rosebud pulsating around the tip of my finger. Her legs were shaking. I lifted my head and we looked into each other’s eyes as her contraction subsided.
– Zahra, you are my love.
– And you mine.
– Let’s call it a day.
– You are sure?
– Yes. I will save myself for the all-important tomorrow’s experiment.
She didn’t change her lingerie for pajamas. I turned off the light and we spooned until sleep overtook us.
I woke up on Thursday morning with Zahra in my arms. I stood up and prepared an omelette for breakfast. Zahra joined me after 10 minutes.
– Today is the day of the all-important anal sex experiment.
– Indeed. Are you scared?
– Not at all. So far everything we attempted went up well.
– I hope so. We will soon need another bottle of lubricant.
– Order a new one on the Internet.
-….. Done. It will be delivered tomorrow.
– Okay. Let’s go to work then.
Zahra hand-washed her lingerie, we brushed our teeth and we were set to go. We met two people on the stairs, a younger man and an old lady. We exchanged greetings and went to the tube station. Around 11 o’clock Karolina came to my office.
– Cześć. How are you?
– Zdravo Karolino. I’m okay.
– And Zahra?
– All is well with her.
– Shall we go for a coffee?
– Sure.
– Did you finish the materials you were preparing?
– Yes. Today I can call it a day earlier than usual. I have to take care of two small administrative matters and then I will be free.
We walked through the campus. The cafeteria was rather busy. We sat in the corner and waited for a waitress.
– Hello Dr. Omerbegović. Cappuccino as usual?
– Yes, please.
– And for you?
– Coffee latte.
– Thanks. I will bring it right away.
– How is your dissertation progressing?
– Not as good as it used to be. It’s going well enough I suppose. I’m not scared that I will not complete it in the allotted time.
– Good. You are planning a big event?
– I hope we can attract enough union members. We want to convince the unions to invite their members to participate in the protest. This Bayan Escort is, I think so, the correct approach. We, the antiwar left, are now quite marginalized in the Labour Party.
– Are you a Corbyn supporter?
– Yes. I think so. In the European Parliament, I don’t support social democrats, they are a centrist party nowadays. I’m in the camp of Syriza and Varufakis. I think that you and Zahra are also in the camp of the real left.
– I think the left has been successfully fragmented between Greens, Socialists, Social Democrats, and Pirates. The opposition to the almighty capital is weak in almost all European countries.
– And Bosna?
– Do you listen to Dubioza Kolektiv?
– Yes, I liked them a lot, but their lyrics, except those in English, are too difficult for me.
– They sing that Bosna and Hercegovina is our neoliberal motherland. I agree.
– I was once at their concert in 2021, at the Poland Rock Festival.
– Have you met some tall dark and handsome stranger yesterday?
– Woody Allen?
– Yes. I like some of its work. By the way, I have probably never mentioned to you, that I’m a great fan of Krzysztof Kieślowski.
– Really? Which movies have you seen?
– I saw some of his early works on the Internet. I have a DVD with all the chapters of Decalogue and all three “color” DVDs. I love especially the red one. One of the best movies ever. Decalogue on the other hand is a cinematic masterpiece. It’s hard to imagine a better conceived-and executed series. He is so good, that he doesn’t need to use some artsy fartsy quasi-deep parables.
– I agree with you. Kieślowski was the best European movie maker. Perhaps he still is.
– In my opinion, no one after him surpassed Kieślowski in the sense that in Decalogue there is no single scene that could be cut, without hurting the movie’s message. A piece of cinema with no redundant scenes is very rare in European cinema.
– I don’t know much about Bosnian cinema. I only remember the comedy about the black cat and white cat and a tragedy Halimin put.
– These mass killings are still a painful memory. The three groups involved can only mourn their own victims, and justify their war criminals. There was never a detoxification of nationalistic policies like there were in Nazi Germany in 1945. Dayton means that conflicts are frozen, but they were never resolved. It is a tragedy that Bosna was not admitted into the EU. If those in power want to make a nation-state based on religious identity, the affairs always lead to bloodshed. Suddenly people like me, people of mixed origin, are forced to choose between a father and a mother. We will only progress if we all start to identify as Bosnians of Catholic, Orthodox, Jewish, Muslim religions, or even agnostics or atheists. This however will never happen, so everyone is afraid we could become another Russia – NATO proxy war.
– In Poland, there are also many people worried that the war could spill across the Ukrainian border.
– In old Yugoslavia, there was a saying “Live as there is 100 years of piece in front of us, but prepare like there will be a war tomorrow”.
– I hope our rallies and marches will make at least a small step towards actual peace in the Middle East.
– Well, did you know that in Bosna we called it Bliski Istok, which literally means Near East.
– We also. We called it Bliski Wschód which means the same. I guess we have a lot of similar words.
– I don’t know. When I was watching Decalogue, I used the subtitles. I think I would not understand it otherwise.
– When I watched Halimin put I also used subtitles.
– I guess that old words will be similar, while modern words will be completely different unless they are picked up from English or Latin.
– What do you mean by old words?
– Things that existed centuries ago. For example, father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister. In Bosnian otac, majka, sin, kćerka, brat and sestra.
– In polish they are ojciec, matka, syn, córka, brat, and siostra.
– You see they are very similar. A modern word is for example train, or voz in Bosnian.
– In Polish it is pociąg, so completely different from voz.
– Okay, young lady. Nice talking to you, but it’s time for me to resume work. See you around.
–
I casually went to the bar and paid. We stepped outside.
– Do widzenia, dr. Omerbegović. I’m going to the office, so we shall probably see each other in the afternoon.
– Doviđenja Karolino.
Karolina walked in the direction of a tube station, while I went back to my office. I left the premises just in time to meet Zahra on the road to Pho restaurant.
– Hello young lady.
– Hello, tall dark stranger.
– How about you join me for a Vietnamese meal?
– How about you walk me home afterward?
– How about you make me coffee if I do?
– How about you fuck me if I make you a coffee?
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