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To be honest, my secret pleasure since Halloween 1998 has been dressing up in a miniskirt and heels and going down on guys, and to be fair I’ve spread my legs for quite a few men as well.
The problem has always been that I have no interest in men other than being sexually submissive to them. I shaved my legs in 1998 for the first time as part of a dare, to go to a Halloween party attended by my co-workers at the time as a Hooters waitress. At the time, I was all about doing wild and crazy things, so I took the dare and decided if I was going to do this, I’d do it not as a joke, but try to look as sexy as possible.
Shaving my legs was like an epiphany. I’ve always had an intense fetish for women’s legs, and once I shaved mine, put on nylons, and posed in front of the mirror, I realized I had gorgeous legs. At the party, my co-workers couldn’t stop complimenting me, usually half-jokingly, about what nice legs I had.
One of my co-workers, Mike, who was the manager of our warehouse, told me at one point, “I’ve always had this fantasy about getting a blowjob from a Hooters girl.” I bristled at what he seemed to be implying and moved away from him, but he kept finding me, and at one point, after too many drinks and going outside with some co-workers to smoke a joint, I was in a back store room, on my knees, sucking Mike’s cock.
I couldn’t believe it happened, but even more so, I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed it. Sucking cock for the first time was the most incredible sexual experience I’d ever had.
Afterwards, I was immediately consumed by regret and fear that Mike would tell everyone that I sucked his cock. The next morning, I was in tears because the full realization that I had sucked cock and absolutely loved it was horrifying me. I’d just broken up with my girlfriend and was looking for a new girlfriend. This was not going to help me in that pursuit, and it wasn’t as if I didn’t have a lot of trouble with the ladies before that.
Knowing how terrified I was of people knowing I’d gone down on him, Mike used that fear to convince me to keep sucking him whenever he wanted or he might “decide to let it slip that Keith is a cocksucker.” At first it was once a week, usually after work and after we went out for drinks at the end of the work week, and slowly it became more frequent. I kept using the fear of discovery as my excuse for continuing to please Mike, but then I reached the point where I was breaking down in tears.
“I love doing this so much,” I sobbed.
“Say it. Tell me what you love doing.”
“I love sucking cock,” I said, dropping down on my hands and knees and blubbering uncontrollably. “I don’t want to love sucking cock.”
“You’re a cocksucker, Keith,” Mike told me as he lifted up my head, looked down at me, and brushed my long hair away from my eyes. “You’ll be on your knees in front of men for the rest of your life.”
“I know,” I whimpered through my tears.
It would go on with Mike for six months, and he would introduce me to five of his “friends,” as he loved watching me go down on other men. I cried every time I sucked cock after that, always hearing those words in my head. I was going to be on my knees in front of men for the rest of my life and I’d never have a girlfriend again.
After I left the job, I worked up the courage to tell Mike I had to stop, that it wasn’t what I wanted and I needed to have a “normal life.” After a year without cock, I met a woman and had istanbul escort a good three year relationship, but then she left me for another man.
Two months later, I was meeting men on the internet and sucking cock in hotel rooms on a weekly basis. That went on for nine months.
I used to think of it as my “secret other life,” something I could walk away from at any time. Meeting men in hotel rooms kept them from knowing where I lived and therefore I could offer myself to him again or never see him again. It is something I can’t help. I love putting on a miniskirt and heels and getting down on my knees in front of me. This is just who I am, and it probably is at the center of my identity. I mean, since 1998 I’ve gone down on so many men it isn’t as if I can say “it was just some experimenting.” I’ve been starting and stopping for so long it often feels like swearing off candy or fried foods and then getting that craving again.
When you are standing in front of a man, shaved legs, miniskirt, high heels, and you see that bulge growing his pants just as you feel your own penis getting hard, you know at that moment that you belong on your knees in front of this man. You know that moment of surrender that comes when you kneel, and when you watch him casually take off his pants and present his cock, and when he looks at you and you timidly smile and lean down to stroke, kiss, lick, and suck the hell out of that nice thick erect cock, those nice full balls, you know you are where you belong.
That is the way it is for me, anyway, and I could start meeting men and stop meeting men anytime I chose. At least that was the way it was until I met Alan.
Now, for a guy who generally met men by strutting around with his legs shaved and tanned in shorts too short for any guy to be wearing, it may seem amazing that the first time a man took my ass was almost ten years after the first time I sucked cock, but it had never interested me until Alan.
I was going through another one of my periods where I tried to convince myself that I could get a girlfriend. I’d been in three relationships with women in my life and every time it went the same, she cheated on me when we were together and I turned a blind eye to it so I could pretend it wasn’t happening, and eventually she’d leave me for another man. One of those girlfriends went on to tell me, “It isn’t that your dick is small,” she said, reminding me of what made it so easy for me to wear miniskirts and tight shorts, which was the fact that my dick is about four inches when fully erect, and definitely not thick like I prefer my men. “You are just too timid and submissive in bed and I need someone who will be more like a man.”
That stung, and after that I became very sheepish around women, which drove me to crave cock pretty much all the time. I was trying not to give in, because I still hoped to meet a woman and get married, but I was in my early forties at that time. The clock was running, and as far as I was concerned, my chances got slimmer the more I gave in to my wants and needs.
I got more reckless when it came to meeting men after that. I’d always be careful to not get into a situation I couldn’t get out of, or where my secret passion would be revealed to all.
At the time, I was dating this woman named Erica who seemed to like me and like spending time with me, but would rebuff me whenever I tried to so much as kiss her. If it wasn’t for the fact that she escort bayan was gorgeous and had a hot body, including the nicest pair of legs I’d ever seen, I would have given up and walked away… but maybe it I was patient…
Erica knew about my dressing, and how I shaved my legs and painted my toenails, even as I tried to hide it from her. We’d never been intimate, she only let me kiss her on the cheek, and while she grinned while wearing tight little pink spandex shorts in front of me, I always wore pants in front of her. She’d found out by poking around in my apartment when I wasn’t looking, finding my pink and red nail polish, my women’s razor in the shower, and the outfits hidden in the back of my closet. She had put things together and on my birthday she announced she was throwing me a party at her place.
There were about a dozen people there, mostly her girlfriends, along with their boyfriends and a few guys Erica knew. I didn’t really have any close friends, just people I hung out with sometimes or talked to about movies or music, so the whole party was filled with Erica’s friends rather than mine. She was driving me crazy, dressed in a slit skirt and heels, but as usual it was, “Look, but don’t touch.” I accepted it because it just felt so good to be seen with her in public because she was so beautiful.
Then, in front of everyone, she gave me three wrapped boxes that were her birthday presents from me. One of her friends, Marci, who came over quite often, had also bought me a gift. I started unwrapping them excitedly until the first box turned out to be a shoebox that contained a pair of strappy six-inch high heels in my size.
I froze because I had no idea how to react. There I was, sitting in front of all these people, most of whom I didn’t know very well or hadn’t even met before, holding a pair of very nice heels in my size while Erica said while everyone stared at me, “Go ahead, try them on, but look at the other boxes first, honey.”
When I sat there, catatonic, staring down at the shoes in the box, Erica said, “I got the size right, didn’t I, hon?”
Half the room started laughing. Tears started streaming down my face as Marci walked over and took the box off my lap, had it passed around, and then put another of Erica’s presents on my lap.
“Come on, we want to watch you open your presents, birthday boy.”
I went from being petrified to absently opening the box like a zombie, trembling, with tears falling down my cheeks while people made comments like, “Someone’s secret it out.” The second box contained a miniskirt and top combo, which they insisted I hold up while everyone went, “Ooh, sexy,” as my hands shook and I tried to keep from completely freaking out.
The third box was put on my lap, which I opened the same way, and it contained a bra and pink thong panties. At that point everyone started insisting I try on my new clothes and let everyone see me in it.
Straining through my tears, my voice cracking, I whimpered, “Please, I can’t… please…”
Marci took my hand, led me into the bathroom and took my presents with her. She pushed and prodded, telling me, “Just try it all on, I bet you’ll look sexy,” as I pleaded with her that I just wanted to go home. “You’ll feel better getting this all out in the open, I promise,” she said and wiped away some of my tears.
Marci held my hand and led me out into the living room, I was looking at the floor, not wanting Maltepe escort to look up, trying to stay steady in those six-inch heels, wincing as everyone started whistling and catcalling. When I finally sheepishly looked up, the first thing I saw was Erica sitting very closely with one of the guys, Brian, who had his hand on her bare thigh and leaned over and kissed her full on the mouth as soon as he saw me watching.
“You look like such a cocksucker,” he laughed as he saw my mouth fall open and me starting to break down into tears.
The whole room started laughing, or saying, “Oh shit, this is too much,” as I stood there, a grown man in a miniskirt, heels, and a bra under a woman’s top, shaking and crying as I whined, “I just want to go home” as another man groped and made out with my girlfriend.
“We all want to know, Keith, is he right? Do you suck cock?” one of the women asked.
“Look at him, I guarantee he does,” laughed one of the guys.
“Oh, I’m sure he does,” Erica said. “I’ve just never caught him in the act.”
It was the most humiliating experience of my life and it just wouldn’t end. I could have run back to the bathroom, put my regular clothes on, and ran out to my car and driven away, but I felt helpless and weak, so I just stood there and took it.
It wasn’t as if they were wrong, and with my supposed girlfriend hanging on another man, saying outrageous things like “I got grossed out the first time he tried to kiss me because I could smell dick on his breath,” which got everyone laughing while I stood there, quaking in my heels, with my lower lip quivering while I fought back the tears.
“Come here, Keithy,” said one of the guys who had been fairly quiet through the teasing as he walked up alongside me and put his hand on my shoulder.
His name was Adam and he was very calm and had a reassuring smile, patting my on the shoulder and then guiding me into turning towards him.
“You can open the present from Marci later,” he told me, knowing full well that it would turn out to be a big rubber dildo and an extra large tube of K-Y. “Come with me to the spare bedroom and I’ll give you the best present of them all.”
“You do suck dick, don’t you, Keith?” Adam asked as he put his hand under my chin and made me look up from the floor and up a him.
“Yes,” I gasped out, feeling like I was suffocating with no way out.
“I thought so,” Adam said with a smile before letting go of my chin and reached down to unbuckle and drop his pants and underwear. “Kneel down and get to it then, birthday boy.”
I was already completely broken when Adam took me back out to the living room after I’d sucked him off and he’d given me a very messy facial, “The icing on the birthday cake,” he joked to everyone when he paraded me back out in front of everyone, my heels now off as I stumbled haplessly and sobbed uncontrollably.
Being with Erica, I’d been proud to show her off everyone I could go, wanting people to see I wasn’t a loser and a wimp. I was with this gorgeous woman and everyone was jealous, but now she knew all those people and places and she started going out to those places with Brian, being openly affectionate with him, and explaining that she was just pretending to be my girlfriend so people wouldn’t find out I hooked up with guys and sucked cock.
That was pretty much it. After that I gave up on believing any woman would ever want to be with me since all I seem to do any longer is eat, sleep, go to work, and suck cock,
I may have never accomplished anything in life and most people think I’m a complete loser, but I do look great in a skirt and I really do give absolutely amazing head. I think that is something to be proud of.
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